Let Love Bleed Red
by The Dark Duran
Summary: She only wanted her to stay by her side. She only wanted her to make it through the fight. As her eyes close, watching the flames, she wonders why it's snowing in Tokyo. Oneshot, for now...


Let Love Bleed Red

Prologue

There were times where I wanted to drown.

There were times where I wanted to burn.

There were times where I really wished, that none of this ever existed.

When the sky burned red that day, I didn't watch it. I had been asleep, dreaming by the shore. Her smell protected me, and her presence. It was just us, drifting off in this wonderful world of mine, where love never sleeps and where butterflies never die.

I don't remember if the smell of fire brought me awake, or if it was the feeling burning in the back of my head that she wasn't waiting beside me.

When I woke, the sky was red. It burned like the flames that reigned over the skyscrapers that were crumbling down, like sand castles. She rested her jacket over me, whether it be to warm me or to console me. I blurrily looked down, thinking for a pathetic moment that she had fallen asleep protectively on my chest. When I realized there was no body but my own, I broke down.

God, no one knows how bad I wished that you were lying underneath that jacket.

I stood, wearily, and I followed the black sun into the ruins that I knew she helped create. Dust crawled over my feet. I would have thrown up if it weren't for the fact I was plenty used to the smell of rotting flesh. There were things burning, bodies still trying to crawl away from all of it, but I had been looking past all that. I was only looking for one thing.

I was clinging onto her jacket until my knuckles turned white.

Where are you? It's all I could process in my head, the only thing I needed at that moment to know because I was almost sure I would die if I didn't. I always knew where you were, even if we weren't together, attached at the hip, side-to-side, inseparable as body and soul. But this time there was no understanding. This time I had no certainty that you were looking for me, or that I could simply stay still and have you come to me, in all your infallibility and in all your pride, taking me under your wings again, letting me know there's no storm that can shake you.

I could feel you slipping into the abyss, downing in the deep. And I've been cast astray.

The more I searched, the more the heat was bearing down on me, the more her jacket was burdening my body with it's weight and the heat it kept in. But damn me to hell if I ever let that jacket down. I kept it over my back, the sweat gliding along my brow and cheeks, face burning pink and knees growing heavy. The smoke filled everything, and the fire filled in the rest. My weary legs carried me over a small hill, a mound of crumbled remains, a memory of battle.

I looked up, over the horizon where the smoke parted and the sun beat down viciously.

It was the moment I knew you were gone forever.

I had tied that scarf around your neck many times. I told you it was a sign of friendship, a sign of affection, and a means of good luck. It was the only thing I could offer you, because I had nothing else to give. I couldn't give you strength or security. You had those things. I had so little while you had so much.

But when I draped that scarf over your neck, you looked at me, then down and put your fingers against the fabric as if it were the most precious thing in this world. When you did that, I felt better about myself. I knew that it didn't matter if I couldn't fight like you could. That all I had to do was just be there, for you to protect, and keep a reason to fight. You wore it with pride, no matter where you were or what you were doing. It was all I had, and it was enough for you.

And as it waved in the shriveling wind, beaten and tattered, without your form between its folds, I just stared. My world, anything that ever mattered, was gone.

I didn't cry. I didn't do anything. It wasn't worth the emotion, or the pain or remorse. I felt the want for tears as the pain burned in my throat, but I refused to let it grow. In that moment, I thought of how you were the guardian angel sent to me, to guide me through the hell. Sometimes I would think, that what would happen when the hell ends. When you would one day guide me out of the valley of the shadow of death.

Now that the hell's over, I realize the day you leave this place as my angel has come. You've protected me until the end. It was time you return to the heaven you came from. The heaven I used to not believe in.

I made my way up the hill, where that scarf waved defiantly in the dark sky by a stake in the earth. I lifted it, and I felt you there. I pressed it to my chest, and brought myself to my knees. Sand whirled through my hair, I could feel it stick, and I lost myself in what I knew was the remaining smell of your last minutes on earth. I took in the smell of your gunpowder, Django's cockpit, your blood and your sweat. I dared not cry. I couldn't mess the smell with scents of my own.

I smiled, and I can't remember whether it was genuine or bitter. I remembered that night when we washed up on the shore. When we lied naked beside each other, exposed to the night and the moon. I watched you doze off, drifting away into a more sedative place than the battle you constantly warred on yourself. I kissed you, and felt your skin on my lips that night.

I was lucky to have felt that, just once, before it was too late.

Something was telling me I may never have another chance.

I considered finding my way to the remaining points of the bridge, and falling into the ocean's depths with my last sensation being the feel of your jacket and your scarf around me, protecting me, as if you were still there with me. Or lying, looking upward in the sky as the smoke of the city overtook my lungs and my breath while I anxiously waited to see you again.

I had nothing to live for anymore.

And anywhere was better than a world without you.

Every minute I thought of waking up without you next to me, or existing without you being a part of my existence, I felt a part of my soul leave me, my body feeling more and more empty yet my heart getting heavier. It felt like I couldn't breathe, and that perhaps breathing really wasn't worth it.

I sat on my knees and I felt the flames rise up around me. I smiled, feeling their heat swallow me up. I wanted to find you, in hopes that I could end everything beside you. But I remained, satisfied that I'd meet you again soon.

I closed my eyes. This world would be left behind as a red and lonely dream to me.

I waited for the pain to come.

I waited to numb it out until it devoured me.

I felt hands lift me.

I was carried out of the death waiting to take me.

I so felt delirious from the smoke and the heat. Everything was a blur.

When I could open my eyes, the sky wasn't red. The air wasn't angry with killing heat.

It was blue and clear. I could smell the air.

I could smell the scarf around my neck, the smell even stronger.

No. Not the scarf. Arms consoled me. I closed my eyes and opened them again. The sky was red again.

..No. The sky was blue. There was red. Blood? Blood red. It was hovering above me under a sheet of snow.

Snow? No, it wasn't snowing…it shouldn't have been.

I lifted my weak hand, and pressed it into the snow I thought was falling down above me.

I can feel it in my fingertips.

I can taste it in the air.

I know, somehow…I know it's you.

My fingers press through the silk strands of your white hair. I can open my eyes now, and I can stare into yours bearing into me, deep and passionate red. You're the only one I know that can make such a devastating and violent color feel so soft and deep. I trailed my fingers down along your face, over your cheek, and a cut along its surface that you lightly flinched at as I gently grazed it. The feeling on my fingers, on my body, of your presence, your existence surrounding me, is what slowly bends me in such a weak state until I break. You smiled that knowing smile of yours, and lifted my head against your chest so that I could sob uncontrollably. My tears bleed into your maimed clothing, and my wails and cries rung loudly in my ears. I could feel your hand press into my hair, your fingers tangling themselves in the mess of it.

Even though I'm crying, I'm smiling.

"Meg?"

Your voice shatters any doubt I ever could have had at that very moment. "Yes, Jo..?"

"I made it through the fight…I'm staying here by your side…we're going home."

You smile down at me, and my world begins again.


End file.
